10 Steps to Building a Family Team

When families work together as a team, they balance one person’s difficult time with the other family members’ strengths. Each individual in a family brings skills and personality that contribute to a family team. As a whole, a family shares a history and goals. Our family members help us through the happy, good, sad, and painful times. And in military life, where we’re frequently uprooting, having a strong family team not only makes the transitions easier, but helps the entire family prepare for each move.

How do we create a family team?

Here are 10 steps that I learned from Kathy Peel and her Family Manager Program:

1. Get agreement from family members that working as a team has benefits.

The benefits of building a family team are respect for each other, productive handling of conflict, reduced stress, and healthier relationships. If the family members understand how a team mentality will better their lives, then they will more likely buy into the cause.

2. Be inspirational.

A team has to be inspired, which means aiming for improvement with a positive attitude. Praise is powerful, and when you praise your family, you will increase your leadership, influence, and relationships. Make sure you are offering sincere praise. I suggest praising an individual’s character strengths and actions.

3. Develop family definitions of clean and organized.

By including each family member’s ideas and thoughts, you give value to each person. Also, deciding what is acceptable as a family eliminates the “I didn’t know what you meant” statements. These definitions become the guidelines for expectations.

4. Assign tasks specifically and set realistic goals.

Giving instructions without a measureable goal leads to frustration. Remind family members of the definitions you created as a team, and show them what the end result should look like. You can allow older family members to develop their own ways to accomplish tasks. By doing so, you let them use their skills and talents. This also shows you trust them to take personal responsibility.

5. Be supportive and express your confidence in your family’s ability to achieve goals.

Positive expectations often set the stage for higher performance. Have you heard the term “living up to expectations?” That is exactly what this step leads to.

6. Offer fair rewards for big tasks.

For example, “Once the driveway and sidewalks are cleared of snow, we will go sledding.” A reward can be a great motivator to complete the big task that may not be the most exciting or enjoyable task to do.

7. Be flexible.

Bend with interruptions instead of standing against them. Going to a child’s school event or doing something spontaneously as a family can be a huge morale booster, relationship strengthener, and maybe even energize you.

8. Always solicit input from family members.

Finding out what your family members think and want shows that you care and are open to different ideas. Soliciting input also helps you improve and model good listening skills. Family meetings do not have to be dreaded and feared. Make them fun and productive.

9. Schedule time for building family relationships.

Set aside time regularly to have fun as a family. What are some family activities you enjoy doing? Playing board or card games? Maybe you like to hit the local bowling alley or go for a hike. Enjoying time as a family will strengthen your relationships.

10. Commit to mutual problem solving.

Discussing problems and coming up with solutions as a family builds unity, communication skills, and teaches kids how to problem solve. One of my favorite methods of problem solving is a decision tree. With a decision tree, you talk with your child about a current or potential situation. You ask your child leading questions, and write down the possible outcomes of those decisions. Explore several outcomes including good and bad. This helps your child see how actions lead to consequences.

 

Are you ready? Start with a family meeting and get that team inspired!