Battle Buddies Are Vital
By Kori Yates for Planting Roots
I could not have done it alone.
The first time I ran a half marathon was a doozy. Living in Georgia at the time with two young kids, I felt a long way from my time in the Marine Corps when “fit” was my middle name. I was determined and, thankfully, so was my battle buddy.
We began to train, running on our own during the week and then meeting up on Saturday mornings to get those long runs in. In order to keep you from thinking I looked like some amazingly cute runner in my matching outfit, I need to clarify. After one of our longer runs, I went to church the following morning. A friend mentioned that she thought she had seen me out running the day before, and she then noted that I looked like I was about to die.
How right she was.
My friend, a much faster runner than I, continued to push me and challenge me.
Our families went together to the mountains of North Georgia for our race. The hills were crazy, and I’m pretty sure one guy that passed me was about 70 years old, but I finished.
Coming in at the end of the race and seeing the face of my friend, I knew very well that I had finished because of her. She had challenged me, encouraged me, and hit the road with me. We were in it together.
That same friend has done the same for me in many circumstances in this military life. We became friends the first time I showed up on her doorstep with dinner after the birth of their first little one. Our paths have crossed #IRL multiple times since, and we do life together long-distance in between.
Finding these friendships—true battle buddies—can be hard in military life. In uniform, I struggled to find other military women who had similar goals and values. Thinking it would be easier as a military wife was a false assumption.
Hard or not, though, we need these battle buddies in our lives.
They encourage, help, challenge, protect, and pray.
They keep us going when we’re pretty sure we’d rather give up.
They point us back to our goals and the bigger picture when our focus starts to wander.
And, hopefully, we do the same for them.
Tons of people cross our military life path. What I have found is that I have to invest and I have to choose. I don’t get these battle buddies by hanging out on my own and hoping they show up. As in the case of my running friend, it all started when I took dinner to her house. I had no idea what would happen with that, but I am forever glad I showed up.
We have to step out there, whether becoming part of a church, joining a Bible study, getting involved with a local club, or meeting our neighbors.
We have to show up.
We also have to decide.
I make multiple friends at every duty station and, with social media, can certainly stay in contact with them across the miles, but I can’t maintain a million friendships like that for the long haul. I just don’t have it in me, and I have a feeling neither do you.
This is where I choose.
We have friends for a season and friends for life. Both are a necessity, and both are good, but they are very different. Spending time with people and getting to know them, I tend to find one or two at each place that float to the top. We have some kind of connection that makes my heart say, “Keep this one.”
Finding battle buddies can be a challenge. Here are a few things I remember when I go looking for mine at each new place:
- Step outside your door: Whether you sit on the front porch, do some yardwork, or take a walk through the neighborhood, being outside means you meet folks. That’s a good thing.
- Do the inviting: If you’re waiting for someone else to have you over for coffee, they may be waiting as well. Step out there, be brave, and invite them.
- Take notice: Are their trashcans blowing in the wind? Maybe they’re cleaning out the gutters on their house. Do they need some help in the commissary parking lot? Are you able to help? This is a great opportunity to make friends.
- Be patient: Sometimes we meet folks right away and hit it off. We become friends in a heartbeat. Most of the time, though, it takes time to make friends. Know that there are friends for you where you are. You’ll find them.
Investing in battle buddies is important. Some day, we will come to the end of this military journey, and I will still say, “I could not have done it alone.” No doubt civilian life is much the same.
Two are better than one. They keep us moving, hold us up, and point us back to our goals. Together we do life even when we live on different continents.
Who has been or is now in your path? There is a battle buddy for all of us.
Go looking.
Kori is the Founder and Director of Planting Roots, a growing organization building a community of Christian military women worldwide. The author of Olive Drab Pom-Poms and speaker, Kori is a former Marine and current Army wife. Kori is married to Kyle, an active-duty soldier, and a homeschooling mom to two amazing kids. The Yates’ currently live in Kentucky. You can find more about her at koriyates.com.
