Creating a Mom-Guilt-Free New Year

The weary woman glanced around her house and sighed. With the holiday season officially over, she was at a loss for what to do with her family for the next couple of months. Christmas movies had been played and replayed, and new toys had already become too familiar, but the kids were driving her crazy… so the woman wracked her brain for some kind of creative inspiration.

Limited options, however, made creativity hard. January meant no overspending because she and her husband had already agreed to stick to a strict budget and focus on saving. Sporadic trips to the movie theater, drives to the city, and visits to the children’s museum were supposed to be out of the question.

But while she stood there, feeling helpless and at a loss, mom guilt reared its big, ugly head and nagged at her.

You can’t just stay home, you need to give the kids experiences. You’ve got to push past your limit of too tired, you’ve got to spend money in order for your family to enjoy life.

She could hear it, but she shook her head and ignored it for just a bit longer…

And that’s when she saw it. The pile of barely touched board games on the dining room table. Maybe, she thought. She walked to the stack of boxes and picked up the one on top. “Battleship,” she said out loud. “Does anyone want to play?”

The kids unraveled themselves from a knot of fists and elbows in true Looney Tunes fashion to look curiously at what their mother was holding.

Smiles crept across each little face to show excitement at the thought of playing a game, joy at the prospect of spending time with their mom, and an eagerness to win. “Yeah!” They all shouted at once.

For the next three hours, the mom held a child on her lap—her designated teammate—while the older one sat across from her and the 2-year-old sat atop the table to help (not really help) in any way he could, and they played. Even the husband was eventually drawn in by the alluring laughter, competitive spirit, and sarcastic comments flying across the table.

At 5 p.m., the woman looked at the clock in awe. An entire afternoon gone just like that. Time spent together, no money spent frivolously, no complaints of boredom were heard, and nobody drove anybody else crazy. Amazing! She cooked dinner and sipped a glass of wine slowly, still soaking in the success of such a simple day.

This is exactly how several days have passed for my family over what could have turned into a long and torturous Christmas break. With my husband home, I’ve put myself and the kids on a homeschool break as well, and I quickly grew tired of entire days spent in front of the television.

Thankfully, I realized that surviving for a couple weeks at home didn’t have to be merely about survival. It turned into having fun with the people who are most important, deepening relationships with friends, and letting our scattered and cloudy brains settle down for a bit.

And that mom guilt that tried to take over and tell me that I’m not doing enough? I kicked it to the curb!

I’m here to tell you—even as the new year begins and we have to figure out how to enjoy life on a tighter budget, we can find amazing ways to make memories right at home. We don’t have to give in to the pressures of social media guilt to have the best pictures and the funnest looking lives and the most money to throw away, sacrificing our goals in the process!

I’ll be honest though and admit: it’s probably unrealistic to assume that an entire two or three months can go by without leaving the house and spending some money, especially when you have children.

But when you’re working toward big goals and wanting to stay focused, planning is essential.

Here are some easy tips that I’ve applied to my own life that might help you stay on track, have fun, and avoid those feelings of mom guilt and not doing enough:

1. After you put money into savings and pay your bills, make sure you include a spending amount for activities in your budget each month. If there’s a movie you’re dying to see, account for it ahead of time. If you love to go bowling or have recently discovered roller skating, you know you’ll probably do those things at least once a month… the zoo, the aquarium, the children’s museum… date night? Whatever you love to do, just be sure to have it planned ahead of time so you’re not completely throwing off your spending and having to recalculate after the middle of the month.

2. When your spending limit is reached, have the willpower to say, “We’re staying home this weekend,” and have a literal “game plan.” Before you find yourself spending more than you want to this year, make an investment. Buy about five games you can play with your entire family, and three that your kids can play on their own. Before you think, “There’s no way my kids will be able to play that,” give them a chance! Kids are smarter and craftier than we give them credit for, and they just might (and probably will) surprise you!

• Board games are 100% not overrated. They’re worth every penny you pay for them, every moment you spend playing them, and every memory and laugh that comes as a result of them.
• You’ll find that personalities shine when you have a family game night. You find out who’s quick-witted, who’s super competitive, and who’s a bit of a sore loser (it’s me).
• You encounter teachable moments, and you have the funnest and funniest of conversations.
• Coming from a family with three boys, ages 8, 5, and 2, here are some games that we’ve played and really love:
  • Uno (any card game that you want to teach your kiddos, really!)
  • Battleship—Kids can play on their own!
  • Kids Against Maturity
  •  Labyrinth
  •  Blokus
  •  Kingdominos
  •  Suspend
  •  Dominoes
  • Don’t Break the Ice—Kids can play on their own!
  • Kerplunk—Kids can play on their own!
  • The Sneaky Snacky  Squirrel—Kids can play on their own!
  • Skoolzy Naughty Monkey and the Tree—Kids can play on their own!
  • Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

3. Have a list of fun and free activities you can do together posted on your fridge, and look to it in times of crisis. Some tried-and-true ideas from my own experience are the park, picnicking in the backyard, visiting library, exploring local museums that don’t charge admission, venturing along nature trails, taking walks around the neighborhood, and crafting at home with supplies you have on-hand. Honestly, our kids just want to spend time with us!

 

This year, there’s no reason you can’t meet your financial and family goals. Ignore the lies of “mom guilt” and embrace the simplicity of staying home and giving your family experiences that they will cherish forever.