A Toast: To a New Year and You

Today we all woke up with 365 new days ahead of us. Happy New Year!

I like to start each year off in my pajamas. I’m talking about a pj party all day long.

This party of mine includes lots of leftovers from the holidays that my family can munch on (so I don’t have to cook!), piles of cookies and treats, a fresh notebook with no writing in it, my favorite orange pen, a warm sherpa throw, crackling logs in the fireplace, and a lot of reflection on the past year.

2019.

I’ve heard from a number of people that they were looking forward to the end of last year. It’s almost like with the clash of pots and pans, the flash of fireworks in the sky, a glass of champagne, and a midnight kiss, all their troubles will end. All the negatives were left in the past and the future suddenly looks bright.

Others look over their past year and see something they’ve worked so hard at. They laid a foundation and now 2020 is their chance to continue to build and ultimately reach their imminent success.

Whether your Happy New Year is a result of 2019 being in the past or 2019 building your future, today starts something new.

Looking Forward

So, what are you writing in your new notebook this year? What is going to be the first title on your blank pages?

As military families, we’re frequently limited in our aspirations by what the military dictates. Maybe this is a PCS year. Or, a deployment is looming. You may be limited by personal circumstances like a baby on the way or children graduating high school and heading off to college.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that life can do a 180 on you with no notice… especially in the military. Waiting around for the right moment or the right circumstances could leave you with nothing to show for a week, then month, and eventually, another year has passed.

Unfortunately, this happens much too frequently. If you’re like me, you feel frustrated and disappointed and ultimately unsatisfied with life.

Whatever your situation, if you’re feeling stifled by circumstances, let me give you a gentle nudge boot in the backside to do it anyway.

Start Now

This fall I attended Discover Your Spark taught by Brittany Bocher, AFI’s 2017 Military Spouse of the Year. The class came at a perfect time. I was just jumping into owning my own business, my soldier was deploying, and I was starting year six of homeschooling my children.

I needed some spark. Desperately!

My biggest takeaway was that you can’t wait around for the military to sort things out so you can get that dream job or make that lifestyle change or continue to build your family or any other journey you are meant to be on.

Instead, we need to actively pursue our dreams and desires, no matter our circumstances. It might not be the perfect time, but you can start small. The goal is to be ever-moving forward toward personal fulfillment. Discover Your Spark emphasizes finding your passion, purpose, desire, and goals and not letting military life get in the way of achieving what truly makes you happy.

So Many Reasons

So, what’s stopping you?

There are more than enough excuses we can use to not achieve our goals. Let me give you a few.

How about long workdays, TDYs and single parenting? I’ll toss in our ever-changing schedules and moving every few years. Not enough money, time, energy? Don’t like where you live? There are a lot of reasons we may not be ready to make that leap.

But, (yes, there is always a but), do you see how each one of those reasons is temporary?

One of the positives of military life is that even if you’re in a location or position you don’t particularly love, you can almost guarantee a change coming soon.

In this situation, you get to say and actually mean the words, “Thank you, PCS move!”

Current assignments are temporary and something new is imminent. Or, you can grab onto whatever opportunities are here and now, and when you do, you’ll find yourself being fulfilled. You will find bits and pieces or big chunks of that passion and purpose.

Start With You

A couple of months ago my daughter wrote a birthday card to one of her best friends. When they get together, the two of them have grand dreams of being famous fashion designers. In the card, my daughter wrote, “In the future, a girl will own a business. She is successful and amazing. She is a fashion designer. Her clothes are sold around the world. Everyone loves her. You are her.”

Such wisdom from an 11-year-old!

Today, in this brand new year, I want to challenge you to write down a list of how others see you. What do they compliment you on? What are you “known” for? Are you generous? Kind? Intelligent? Funny? Adventurous?

Write down your list and tape it to your bathroom mirror so you see it every day.

See it.

Read it.

Know it.

Now go out and do it. Find your passion. Find your purpose. Don’t wait around for the perfect moment. Your perfect moment is now.

You are worth every good thing that happens to you. You deserve to feel successful in whatever you’re passionate about. You are an amazing person.

I have a feeling 2020 will by your best year yet.