Embrace Your Change

Change. Some like it, some don’t. Some plan for it, others are surprised by it. It doesn’t matter if we’re prepared, looking forward to it, or blown away by it—sometimes it’s just hard to embrace your change.

That’s where I find myself today. Some days it’s easier, some harder. Can I say that each day since my “normal” became “not so normal,” it’s become more my normal? Not necessarily. I am still trying to find my way. I’m just not there.

Yet.

My new year started with my life being turned upside down. As I stood at the counter at the local court clerk’s office at 3 p.m. on New Year’s Eve, filing divorce papers, I knew my year was going to start like no other. I was numb, going through the motions, doing what needed to be done, and trying to wrap my mind around everything else to be accomplished.

Who was I? My identity seems to have always been tied to someone or something else. My spouse, my children, my work (paid or volunteer), or other things.

I also realized for the first time that my status as a military spouse was coming to an end after almost 29 years of living this life at one point or another.

What I realized after a few not-so-good days is that I’m the same passionate, caring, loving, strong, and resilient woman that I know deep down inside I am.

That has not changed.

How do we embrace the change? While mine has been a bit on the extreme side, there are still others that struggle with even the slightest bit of change or routine.

Here are a few things I have found that are helping me and maybe they will help you, too:

1. Maintain as much of your normalcy as you can.

That may mean getting up at the same time every day. With my relocation, I could actually sleep in an additional 30 minutes, but I don’t. I take advantage of that time and sometimes fix a good breakfast before I leave the house vs. packing it and eating at work.

2. Keep in contact with friends and family.

It’s easy to allow friendships to wane as things in your life change. Don’t allow that to happen unless you need to. With technology today, we are able to stay in contact, and believe me, you need that, especially on the not-so-good days you’re bound to have.

3. Explore your new surroundings.

Become involved with something new. Whether it’s a group activity or learning and doing something on your own such as knitting. Do something that offers a new outlook.

4. Take time for you.

Exercise, read, take a bath, or just relax! That is so hard to do, but you need it!

5. Seek outside advice and counsel.

Especially if you find you’re having a difficult time with any sort of change. Sometimes just getting it off your chest to a third-party really does help you keep perspective and slowly embrace the change. It’s okay to have down days! Just don’t let them become your normal.

While some things have changed for me personally, I know those changes will not alter or define who I really am, and for that, I’m thankful.

You want to know why?

I’m still a mom (including being a military mom), friend, worker, volunteer of many organizations, and a member of the Tennessee State Guard, just to name a few.

Even though I feel as though the raindrops keep falling on my head, I know “it won’t be long until happiness steps up to greet me.”

Embrace your change and make it that much better. I am, slowly, but I am.

How do you deal with change? Share your thoughts. You never know who you might encourage with your suggestions or positive words.