Growing Your Long-Distance Relationship
My husband and I have been cohabiting for a little more than a year now, and it’s been such a delight to see him as much as I have. Crazy, huh?! It was unusual for me to see him so regularly! In the past year, there were a handful of instances that the military took him away —about three months total—but, there would be long spans of time that he spent at home. I knew we would get to this point eventually and made every minute apart during our long-distance relationship worth it. Before we got married (and even shortly after our courthouse wedding), we had a full-on long-distance relationship.
At the start of our relationship, we were living more than 300 miles apart. I can’t tell you how many raised eyebrows I received when I would tell people that I was a part of a long-distance relationship. Why bother with someone that far away when there are millions of people that are closer?
Well, it was simple. We had a strong connection. I’m sure a lot of other military spouses can relate. Whether it’s a sixth sense or gut feeling, you just know.
As time went on during our courtship, we discussed taking things further. Orders overseas nudged us a bit to make big decisions sooner than later. No biggie…
It was an easy decision for us to make to continue our relationship by any means necessary. In addition to our natural feelings towards each other, we made sure we worked together for our relationship to grow.
Here are four tips that helped my husband and I keep the love flowing from a distance:
1. Schedule virtual dates
I’ve mentioned a ton of times before how lucky we are that we have the internet and easy access to phones. When my dad was away and/or overseas in the ’80s and early ’90s, he told me that in order for him to connect with my mom, he had to travel to the USO to use their phones. We now have the opportunity to see each other online, and with satellite phones, it’s easier to connect, too. Don’t forget to use all forms of communication to keep in touch.
2. Start planning activities after arrival
This is particularly helpful when you’re living separately and can be used for spouses that are geo-bachelors, too. When my husband was overseas, we knew he would get mid-tour leave. Even if we didn’t know when, we started mapping out things to do. That kept me busy and made me look forward to his arrival even more!
3. Find ways to surprise each other
To be honest, I’m not one that likes surprises, but when I say “find ways to surprise each other,” I mean it loosely. We all know it’s the little things that matter and add up. When you know they are leaving and packing for an assignment, slip something special in their ruck. Maybe a special note or snack that they would enjoy. Talk to your partner about arranging ways to add something extra to the relationship. Think about inside jokes or memorable moments that are easily shared from a distance. It’s great to find things like that while you’re apart.
4. Cherish the moments you have together
For me, absence does make the heart grow fonder, but so does the time we have together. Every time we’re apart I make sure I take in all the activities, feelings, and everything else, cementing it in my mind and memory. All those precious moments makes it worth all the minutes away from each other.
How do you nurture a long-distance relationship? Tell us in the comments.
