I Mom So Hard

A few weeks ago, I was frantically cleaning up from my three bigger kids’ lunch disaster. I sent them outside in our fenced-in yard, and I only had a few minutes to finish sweeping before the baby would cry to nurse and the other kids would be banging on the door to be let back in.

I hadn’t quite finished cleaning when I saw the baby swiftly Army crawling across the floor, headed toward an area he shouldn’t be. When I ran to get him, I saw something strange on his back and looked closer.

Yuck!

A huge blowout up and out of his pants! I swiped him up, holding him at a strange angle so that his mess would not get on me, and looked around the floor praying he didn’t roll and get it all over the carpet.

Wow, nothing? Yay!

I went to the back door and shouted to the kids outside, “I’ll be back in five minutes!” and pointed to the baby. They giggled and knew exactly where I was going. I raced upstairs and gave the baby the fastest bath ever so the other kids wouldn’t be left alone too long.

When I finished, I scurried back downstairs with the baby, made sure the other kids were still alive, and braced myself as I scanned the yard for what new disasters I may find.

Whew!

They hadn’t painted themselves with sidewalk chalk, they left our landscaping intact, and the water faucet was left off! A miracle! Thank you, Lord!

As the kids piled inside, my mushy mom brain suddenly remembered something: I hadn’t left the baby on the floor crawling! I had put him in his Bumbo seat. I hadn’t buckled him because he was near me sitting on the floor, and I was going to be quick.

Oh no! He had rolled out of it! Did he have the blow out while he was still in the seat?

I went to check.

Ugh! Yep! Now another mess to clean!

But I still had to finish cleaning the lunch mess, I still had to wash up the toddler and get her down to nap, I still had to feed the baby, and I still had to finish schoolwork with the other two.

As I set the baby down to dress him, I sighed, and the words that came to my mind were, “I mom so hard!”

You’ve heard this phrase, right? And if you are a mom, you totally get it.

Yes, we have transformed the word “mom” into a verb—an action word. As moms, we are constantly in action. Every minute our kids are awake is a minute that we are needed for something. I’ve heard it said that the reason moms are so tired is because we are always in a state of alertness. We are endlessly on guard, watching, helping, warning, rescuing.

I once joked with my husband that, even though I did not use a step tracker, I was confident I put in more steps in a day than he did—even including his PT.

I mean, seriously, I was chopping an onion for dinner one night and had to stop three times to prevent the 2-year-old from emptying the baby wipe container, to get her down from climbing the pantry shelf, and to get her out of the bathroom after she decided to “wash her hands” and dump the liquid soap all over the floor!

How can a child even possibly do all those things in a minute and a half? I honestly still don’t know.

Many days, I’m running—no, actually, sprinting—from one end of the house to the other to find a child because it got too quiet. And we all know that when you have young children, a quiet house means they are up to no good!

I’m a ball in a pinball machine, pinging from the kitchen, to the laundry room, to the playroom, to a bedroom, taking care of household chores and children.

It. Just. Doesn’t. End.

There is no rest for the weary, though! Oh, no, no, no!

Our night times are filled with children getting up for the bathroom, bad dreams, tears from one that then wakes the others, maybe a restless child snuggling in bed with us, and kicking us awake. Some nights, every single child is up for some reason or another and I feel so defeated.

Do you mom so hard, too? Can you relate to these?

I mom so hard, my brain is permanently mush from lack of sleep.

I mom so hard, I can’t process the right words to say. I use “thingamajig” and “whatever it is” too many times in a day.

I mom so hard, I’ve suddenly noticed that my sock collection consists of only hospital socks I’ve been awarded with after each baby’s birth.

I mom so hard, my diet consists of simply not being allowed to eat. I shove in bites in between serving the kids seconds, re-filling drinks, and wiping up spilled milk.

I mom so hard, my cardio is chasing a toddler, and my strength training is picking up two kids at once.

I mom so hard, my fun days are sipping a latte while shopping for hand soap or paper towels by myself at Target.

I mom so hard, I get excited to listen to my music on solo errand runs, only to find myself singing “The Wheels on the Bus” to the kids’ CD that was left in the car’s player.

I mom so hard, I’m still cleaning the dinner mess at 10 p.m. and then I stay up until midnight just to have some peace before bed.

I could go on, and I know you’re right there with me!

If you are a mom, you know a mother’s work is never done. This job is probably the hardest you will ever have. We may feel there are not enough days in a week and not enough hours in the day to accomplish all that needs to be done in a household with young, needy children.

But a realization hit me one day—the time will soon come where my kids won’t need me anymore.

They won’t need me to kiss an owie, they will be too cool for hugs, they won’t want to snuggle, and they won’t feel like following me around the house telling me all they know about dinosaurs or princesses anymore.

The house will be too quiet, and it won’t be because the kids got into something they weren’t supposed to; it’ll be because they grew up and are no longer there.

I do remind myself of these things constantly, but it honestly does not make these rough days any easier. For now, it’s just hard.

Extremely hard.

And I fall short every single day.

Do you feel the same? This year has been a strange, challenging one as it is, then you throw in some extra melt-downs, a new school routine, a spouse who works long hours and is unable to help you as much as you need, and suddenly you don’t even know how you got here.

You are not alone.

To all of you overworked, exhausted, mushy-brained ladies out there who mom so hard, I see you. I understand, and I am right there with you.

Remember, this phase is not our forever. In the hard times, I try to focus on how truly blessed I am to have my children; they are such a gift! They still love me through my imperfections and when they see me fall. And I hope they can feel my abundant love for them when I’m strong and rise above it.

If you are momming so hard today, please know you are awesome! Tell another mom that she is awesome too. Sometimes an encouraging word from a friend, and even a stranger, is just what we need to help us through our mom so hard days.

If you enjoyed this, you may also like Tough Lessons Learned from Military Life and Motherhood, or The Madness of Motherhood.