Military Spouses are Uniquely Equipped to Handle a Pandemic

Picture this. Your spouse comes home from work and surprises you with news that their job is changing.

Immediately.

So, they begin their job in a new place while you and your children say goodbye to friends, neighbors, and teachers, unsure when your next face-to-face meeting will happen. You cancel your plans for your daughter’s birthday party, for summer vacation, and for your best friend’s wedding. You try your hardest to settle into a new normal, but nothing is the same and you long for the life you had before.

Pop quiz: Did you imagine this story as a military-related PCS or as the events that unfolded this past spring due to the COVID-19 pandemic?

Fear not, you didn’t fail the quiz. That stressful scenario could have easily described either situation.

As military spouses, we are dealt difficult and trying situations time and time again. These things just come with the territory. The last-minute PCS. The missed holidays. The PCS-while-pregnant-while-your-spouse-is-deployed-and-your-toddler-has-pinkeye. There is nothing that you can throw at a military spouse that cannot be handled, COVID-19 included.

Milspouses are resilient people. The American Psychological Association describes resiliency as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.” Resiliency isn’t necessarily a trait that we are born with, but one that is learned over time through experiencing difficult situations. In fact, Leslie Riopel, professor of psychology and the authority on the psychology of mindfulness, states that “the road to resilience is often paved with emotional stress and strain.” We grow and curate our resiliency skills each time we are asked (or “voluntold”) to do something that is difficult.

In fact, life during COVID-19 often seems similar to the life that milspouses have been living for a long time. Depending on your duty station, you may not always be able to spend holidays with your family. You miss out on weddings, funerals, and baby showers, while your families miss out on births, birthdays, and Christmas. Zoom happy hour with long-distance friends? We were doing that long before it was trendy. Not knowing what our plans will be six months from now? That’s our M.O.

In a nutshell, being a milspouse has fostered our resiliency, allowing us to handle stress in a more positive light. It is what helps us cope with the difficulties that life throws at us and enables us to roll with the punches, make new plans, and carry on. Now, more than ever, our resiliency not only serves us well, but also enables us to help others who may not have the same ability to cope with these trying times. Be sure to reach out to your friends and families, to your neighbors, and to the newer spouses who may not yet have had the time to fine-tune their coping mechanisms.

Milspouses are resilient people. We will get through this together.