Next Stop: Funky Town

I’ve recently lived (barely) through some intense, life-altering, earth-shattering events. Specifics are best kept for another time, when I’ve had proper sleep, time to comprehend, digest, and process all the things, and there are so many things.

From start ’til now, it’s been a grueling, frustrating, heart-wrenching (and many more “..ings”) 10 months. And while I can see the end will eventually come, no one involved can name a date. So here I am, month 10 of this “event” in my life, and I feel as if I’ve found a specific theme park called “Emotional Rollercoaster City.”

Every single ride is a rollercoaster, with the highest highs and scary lows. They hold world records for speed and steepness. There are zero kiddie rides here. Oh, and the catch? You cannot leave said theme park until you’ve ridden every single ride, and there isn’t a consent form you sign. Once you walk through the gate, you’re stuck.

I’ve entered the gate, and I’ve made my way through several “Lands” in the park. Frustration, anger, bitterness, confusion, “whatever.” (This is how I felt. Maybe the better word is indifferent.) And now I’m entering Sadness Land, AKA Funky Town.

I’ve been here a few days, and I have to be honest, I’m not a fan. I’m usually pretty optimistic, happy-go-lucky, and fun.

Not lately.

Lately I’ve been a crying, snotty-nosed, swollen-eyed, hoarse mess. I’m depressed and in a funk. I have zero motivation to do anything but sleep and cry and watch stupid sappy movies. (Side note: whoever thought it would be a good idea to send me The Notebook… you suck. But thank you. I needed that cry.)

I’m on Day 12 of Funky Town, and I’ve made some decisions and changes that I want to share with you, in case you ever get stuck in the same place:

1. Self Love

I’m an introvert by nature and recharge by being alone. I turned my phone off, went and rented a hotel room with a huge spa bath, got room service, and rented a movie. And then I slept. When I woke up, I bought myself a large coffee, walked down to the beach, and watched the whole sunrise. I felt a tad better than the day before.

Maybe you’d prefer a pedicure, or a massage, or heck, maybe even a whole spa day. Can we say Groupon? However you pamper yourself, do it. Start there. The biggest lesson I’ve learned in my “event” is that I absolutely must be my own best friend. Love yourself. It’s a must.

2. Roots

I’m not talking hair. For me, my roots are dug deep in my faith. I have to confess, there have been times in my “event” that I pushed my roots aside and walked blindly, making bad decisions that left me even more confused and hurt. So, I put myself back into church, started listening to my worship music, started a new prayer journal, and boldly confessed to my closest friends and asked them for prayer. Roots are important. Whatever yours are, reconnect with them.

3. Mandatory Fun

Yep. I said it. As military spouses, most of us hate that saying, but this was necessary. See, I lost all enjoyment, any joy I had, so I called up a few girlfriends and said, “I need Mandatory Fun,” and they said “we got you boo-thang.” Within a few hours, they picked me up, took me out to dinner, then to karaoke. Now, I like to sing in the shower and in my car, but let me tell you, something about screaming Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” at the top of your lungs while perfecting the best ’80s dance moves with four of your closest friends? There is a freedom there.

4. Friends and Family

I started to feel very, very alone. While everyone could see I wasn’t in a good place, no one wanted to step up and say anything because I was in denial. Then one day, I broke down and cried when my best friend asked me if I was okay. I boldly confessed my weakness, my brokenness, everything. And that is when the troops rallied.

Sometimes, you may be so deep in your funk you can’t smell the rain falling, but chances are you’ll know you should speak up before you get to that depth. (Although a lot of times we’re too proud or afraid.) Remember #1? You have to be your own best friend. If you feel yourself spiraling, reach out before you get so deep your friends and family need one of those toilet wire things. You know, that unclogs deep.. well, you get the picture.

So let’s recap:
Self Love
Roots
Mandatory Fun
Friends and Family

I know there are several things I’m leaving out, but I’m not a counselor. I’m just a normal, everyday person trying to work through her mess. And this is how I’ve started. So far, the results are pretty decent. I’ve not cried in a whole 48 hours. Nope, scratch that. 49.

Booya, Funky Town.