Hurry Up and Wait (and 3 Ways to Deal)

“Hurry up and wait is my favorite part of military  life,” said no milspouse ever.

Ain’t that the truth?!

My family is currently in yet (another!) hurry up and wait season. And it is about as much fun as talking on the phone to TRICARE while shopping at the commissary on payday.

Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon.

See, we are right on the cusp of a PCS. Unlike some of our previous PCSes, this one is gonna be kind of hard on our hearts. With other duty stations, it was “time” to go and we were ready. Deuces, let’s roll America!

But this time, I can’t help but wonder how much housing is going to charge us for the fingernail claw marks I’ll likely leave on the front porch as my husband drags me to the car on departure day. #KiddingNotKidding

It seems like milspouse life is full of the hurry-up-and-wait moments. We want things to hurry up (or slow down!), but we still have to wait for it to happen (or deal with it when it comes). Waiting for orders. Waiting for deployment to end. Waiting for deployment to start so we can get closer to the end. Waiting for the promotion.

Yes, hurry up and wait is very much a part of life.

So, what’s a milspouse to do in those harder-than-usual hurry-up-and-wait moments?

Here are some of my ideas:

1. Give yourself permission to grieve/twitch/anticipate.

For some reason, we as milspouses think that in order to be “good” (ha!) spouses we can’t “feel” things. Just suck it up, buttercup, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, and other motivational milspouse mottos. But sometimes the best thing we can do is to “feel our feelings,” be they joy and anticipation at the next season or grieving the season we are leaving behind.

2. Remember that the thought of the hurry-up-and-wait experience is often worse than the experience itself. 

I’ve compared these hurry-up-and-wait moments to getting a shot, like at the doctor. See, I don’t like needles. Never have, probably never will. With milspouse life, often a lot of preparation (see also: talk, talk, talking) about the upcoming event or season takes place before the actual execution of said event. That’s like going to the doctor and them telling you that a shot is in order, but instead of just doing it, they wave the needle around for hours and hours, talking the process to death. Once they finally get around to giving the shot (or the deployment starts/ends, PCS happens, etc.) it often isn’t as bad as it was made out to be.

3. Find joy and gratitude where you can.

I know, I know, having an attitude of gratitude seems so cliche, but man, there is great power it in. As we prepare to leave behind our beloved current duty station and community, we rejoice in the experiences we’ve had here (and hypothetically binge on all of the stuff we’ll miss!) while also googling our new location to see what they might have to offer. For example, I realized the other day that although our next assignment in Dahlonega, Georgia, will require us to have TRICARE Remote, we’ll be treated at the number one hospital in the state for our needs.

Dear readers, are you in a hurry up and wait season of life right now? If so, how do you cope? Please don’t be shy; chime in and leave a comment below.

Hopefully, by the time this post publishes and then hits social media, we’ll be elbow deep into the “go-time” season and hurry up and wait (at least this round!) will be closed for us. Until that point, I suppose I should sign off—because after all, I have a lot of hurrying up and waiting to do!