Now What?: Settling in after a PCS

By Ann Kelley

You and your family are settling in after a PCS. If the kids are in school, you may find yourself with hours to fill in a town where no one knows you and you’re still learning your way around. If your kids are schooling remotely or you’re homeschooling, you have less time for yourself, but you know you still need to take action to begin to feel at home in your new surroundings. Involve your kids in this process!

While you may be tempted to stay within the security of your four walls, you know that will only add to your loneliness and delay the process of helping this feel more like home.

 Use these 14 ideas to launch you into a plan to make the most of each day.

 Start by taking care of yourself:

1. Get your blood pumping. Working out affects your whole mood and outlook for the day. Anything from a brisk walk to a spin class will give you energy to face the future.

2. Keep a water bottle within arms’ reach at all times. Water is cleansing and refreshing and contributes to maintaining a proper weight. Your body will thank you.

3. Be quiet. Turn off the TV, your music, the computer. Silence your phone. Allow the quiet to give you a glimpse into your state of mind and heart. Anything there that needs attention? Take comfort in knowing that, by practicing some of these action points, you’re also addressing your mind and heart.

4. Make a change. Starting over in a new place is a good time to make some changes in yourself that you’ve always wanted to make. This is your opportunity to redefine yourself. No one in your new community has any expectations of you.

5. Journal about this time in your life. Writing can bring clarity, release, and a reminder of any conclusions you reach. Years from now you’ll enjoy reading what you wrote and being reminded of this period in your life.

6. Bring flowers inside. Keep flowers on the table, counter, or in your bedroom. You’ll be surprised how much they can lift your spirits.

Now let’s turn your focus outward:

7. Be neighborly. We don’t know if they are shy or just too busy, but neighbors aren’t always the first to say hello. Bake some cookies and knock on your neighbor’s door to say hello.

8. Volunteer. Opportunities abound for volunteering. From the local school to the hospital to the homeless shelter—no offering is too small and your time and skills can make a real difference. While you’re helping, you’re also meeting people!

9. Be an explorer. Every day decide on one new place you’ll investigate. It could be an area like a lovely park or neighborhood you’ve heard about. It could be a business or attraction that interests you or is historically significant. 

10. Be a joiner. Join a fitness class, the library book club, an activist group supporting a cause you believe in, or other group that interests you. A “joiner” more quickly becomes a “belonger.”

11. Attend or start an After the Boxes Are Unpacked study group online or at your military installation. For more than 25 years, this women’s study has helped to prepare, encourage, and equip the uprooted for the emotional and spiritual challenges encountered with each PCS. Learn more at JustMoved.org or email reachus@justmoved.org. 

12. Go back to school. You don’t have to be pursuing a degree to sign up for a class at the local community college or university. There are plenty of choices for those who are interested in personal and professional development. Take a guitar class, hone your writing skills, take a computer class… just sign up for something that interests you.

13. Choose one room at a time in your home to give your attention to. What can you do to make the room more inviting, more comfortable, and to more clearly reflect your style? Carry measurements and color swatches with you so that you are prepared to make a decision should you come across something that you’d like to buy for the room.

14. Check in with those in your household. Remember that those you live with you are also having to make lots of adjustments to this move. When family members get home, stop what you’re doing and give them a warm, loving, and interested reception. Ask about their day. Be a good listener. Act as if each of them is the most important person in your life.

Ann Kelley loves crossword puzzles, singing, and editing and is Director of Communications and Webmaster for Just Moved Ministry. She seeks conversations and readings that delve into what really matters in our world, our relationships, and our mental and spiritual health. Most days you’ll find her on the hiking trail seeking refreshment and solace.