Celebrating New Babies (From a Distance)

I never had a baby shower with my previous children, due to moving during every pregnancy. As an event planning enthusiast, I knew I wanted to have one when I became pregnant with baby number three.

Unfortunately, COVID and yet another PCS derailed my hopes of any type of in-person celebration. I remained determined to have a baby shower and attempted something new with one of my best friends supporting me from 1,600 miles away. Thrilled with the results, I want to share my story because I think the solution to my problem can benefit soon-to-be-moms during future PCS seasons.

This won’t be news to anybody, but COVID changed so much.

I found out I was pregnant with baby number three after a family trip to Disney World at the beginning of March 2020. I returned from Disney with a cold and became concerned that I might have contracted COVID, especially when news broke that a man died from the virus who had been there at the same time. The doctor ordered various bloodwork and a pregnancy test to cover all of the traditional bases.

A bit unexpectedly, the pregnancy test came back positive. My husband Brandon and I were elated!

We tempered our expectations because our last two pregnancies ended with miscarriages, which is a story all on its own. But try as I might, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about finally having a baby shower. I allowed obstacles to prevent my baby shower with the last two pregnancies, but not this time! That’s right about the same time the country shut down.

Before too long, my excitement turned to worry.

I became consumed by the unknowns of being pregnant during a global pandemic. Would I be able to safely attend prenatal appointments? Did I have to stay in the house all of the time to be safe? If the pandemic restrictions were still in place, would I have to deliver this baby alone?

Because of my recent history, the doctors ordered test after test to confirm the viability of the pregnancy, adding another layer of worry, albeit necessary. They also offered suggestions on social distancing, wearing masks, and minimizing exposure to potential COVID carriers. As a military spouse, I was accustomed to attending appointments alone, but COVID was a bit different as my husband didn’t get to go to a single prenatal appointment or even meet my surgeon before surgery day. Clearly, since my husband couldn’t attend any appointments, I felt it too risky and inappropriate to attempt a baby shower.

What to do?

My inspiration came from my experience with the military.

Moving a lot is part of the Army experience—we have moved five times in the past seven years—and even a pandemic couldn’t get in the way of that. So, we PCS’d when I was about four months pregnant. With no friends (zero) in the area where we lived and COVID rampant, I had to think of another way to celebrate this pregnancy.

Care packages are common among significant others and their service member during a deployment, so one day I thought, “Why couldn’t I get a Baby Shower Care Package?”

I asked my friend from two PCSes prior if she’d be interested in participating. She was thrilled to have the opportunity to help me with my idea and even included her whole family!

During my ultrasound appointment when the gender is typically revealed, we asked the technician to keep the gender a secret. We wanted this baby’s gender to be a surprise, which is the first time we did that. I asked the ultrasound technician to place a note with the gender on it in an envelope, sealed from our view, so that I could send it to my friend. Armed with the gender envelope, a list of items I liked, and a generous heart, she curated a customized Baby Shower Care Package just for me. She sent it to me a few weeks before my scheduled c-section to ensure we had it available.

Originally, I planned on opening the box at home as a family before baby number three’s arrival. My husband suggested to wait. I could bring a plain white (unisex) outfit to bring the baby home in.

So, wait we did.

After delivery (baby boy!) and recovery, I told my husband that I needed to open the box, as soon as possible. In my postpartum recovery room, we dove into the box and threw a miniature baby shower, including treats and sugary drinks.

The contents of the box overwhelmed me!

I hoped for one or two outfits that I could slide onto our newest little one as soon as we made it home. Instead, I discovered shirts, pants, onesies, mittens, hats, shoes, towels, and more! My friend even incorporated her love of memory keeping into the box with some scrapbook starters. I felt so loved and supported during that shower and completely forgot about the PCS, the global pandemic (at least for a moment), and the struggles of this uniquely difficult pregnancy.

Even though it was just my husband, my first-born son, and me in a hospital room, it was the best baby shower I have seen. This time, not even COVID or 1,600 miles could keep me from being showered with love from a friend.

Although my story is unique, I see the potential for this type of baby shower to help military moms-to-be around the world. My baby shower certainly wasn’t the kind I imagined beforehand, but afterwards, I wouldn’t have asked for it to be any other way. I also finally stopped allowing the military’s PCS schedule dictate my timing and type of celebrations.

Sending a baby-shower-in-a-box to a new mom can help any recently PCS’d, OCONUS, or isolated mom celebrate a momentous occasion with those they love. It also allows those mothers who are established at a new location with a new support network to include those who were so important from previous duty stations but are now far away. I absolutely loved my experience and I hope the idea might help another mom out there struggling through isolation, whether it’s from a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic or a routine PCS!