When a “GOOD” Move Goes Bad
I work on staff at Just Moved Ministry and after working with so many women throughout the years, there are few moving circumstances that we have not encountered. Sometimes, a “GOOD” move just goes bad!
PCS, retirement, new job, moving to be near family–they all can be a factor in MSM (Moving Stress Meltdown). You know what that is…when everything becomes so overwhelming that you just can’t seem to move forward. When you get angry or sad for no “apparent” reason at all.
When you just want to crawl back into bed and stay there until the move is over. (I can just imagine the moving men moving you, bed and all, into the van.) 
I have had the great pleasure of facilitating several “After the Boxes Are Unpacked” classes. The first get together usually consists of lots of tears and tissue grabs.
As the women open up and tell their story it is often the ones who have just made a “good” move that are having the hardest time.
When a “GOOD” Move Goes Bad….
A “good” move is when the advance anticipation and the outcomes are both positive. A pretty new home! A big promotion! Finally retiring in the place you have always dreamed about!
Hopefully reality meets expectation, but there are some times when it may not:
- The “great” new job isn’t so great.
- Everyone seems to have friends already and doesn’t need another BFF.
- The quality of life is not what you had been led to believe.
- One of your family members is not adjusting well and it is negatively affecting everyone.
- Maybe you find yourself saying, “Oh my gosh. What have we gotten ourselves into??”
If that is how you are feeling, if your “GOOD move” has gone bad, here are three thoughts…
- There is no time schedule for settling in to a new place. Some people seem to have it all together right away. For others it can take a couple years. (Yikes! All too common. So don’t measure yourself by the calendar.)
- If no one knocks on your door you will have to go and do some knocking yourself. It is not always that people are unfriendly, it may just be that they are too frantic in their daily life to make the first move.
- Life rarely goes exactly as planned. Be flexible! Fractal Foundation defines chaos theory as “the science of surprises, of the nonlinear and the unpredictable. It teaches us to expect the unexpected.”
In one of our moves, my husband’s new job did not work out. As we scrambled to work out a “Plan B” we tried not to beat ourselves up too much over the choices that got us there. We made decisions based on the best information we had at the time.
Life is chaotic. Welcome to the rest of your life!
Turn to your spiritual/faith life. Perhaps read a modern translation of the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes. These ancient writings are even studied in secular areas because of the wisdom offered. History points to it as having been written by wise King Solomon.
You are NOT alone.
There are some great online resources (like Army Wife Network) and Justmoved.org to help you get to the other side of your move.
YOU GOT THIS!
*Jamie Vukelich is the social media director at Just Moved Ministry. Just Moved Ministry will show you how you can adapt, feel connected, and thrive after a move.
*To listen to an empowering podcast from Just Moved Ministry, tune into Episode #790 on Army wife Talk Radio.
