For Better or Worse: The Importance of Being Your Spouse’s #1 Fan
Marriage is hard work. Then throw in the fact that your spouse serves in the military. The hard work factor just jumped up a few levels.
Can I get an amen?
My husband and I are going on almost 16 years of marriage, with all of them being within the context of the Army. We certainly don’t have it all figured out, nor do we have a perfect marriage, but over the years we have discovered some core values that we implement in our marriage that help us weather the stress of all that life throws at us. You can read about the top five things that I do to best support my husband and keep our marriage strong in this blog post.
In this post, I am going to delve a little deeper into the importance of being your spouse’s #1 fan.
Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” According to Twain, that means six compliments a year would have kept his love tank full. Your spouse will probably need a lot more, and probably so will you!
I remember when my son was 3 years old. We were living at Fort Benning in the “White Elephant” housing community that backed up to recreational fields. When I found out that I could sign him up at 3 years old to play soccer and the fields were 25 yards from our back door, I didn’t hesitate to sign that little ball of energy up!
At the first game of the season, we were so excited to watch his amazing soccer skills; however, what we saw was something quite different.
Our son simply ran up and down the parent side lines (with his signature one arm pumping and the other held close), head turned to the fans, huge grin on his face, reveling in the cheering of his parents and all the other parents of 3-year-old budding soccer players.
The ball would literally be on the other side of the field, but our little guy was there for the cheers!
After the game, I asked him if he had fun, and his reply was, “I loved hearing you cheer for me. Make sure you do that every time.” My child could’ve massively lost that game, but the fact that his mommy and daddy, his biggest fans, were there cheering him on, nothing else mattered.
Think about a sports fan. I’m not talking about just any sports fan, but someone who lives and bleeds for their team.
When football season comes, they are decked out in their team’s jersey, they clear their schedule on game days, silence their phone, so nothing comes between them and watching the game. With game day snacks piled high, cold drinks, and no other distractions, they are ready to focus on the game.
I believe there are three qualities that the wild sports fan has that we could learn from and apply to our marriages:
1. The number one fan rarely misses a game. They make it a priority to watch the game.
Marriage application: Engage as much as possible in your spouse’s Army life. Accompany him to Army-related events, even if it’s not your favorite thing to do. Your presence and support mean much more than he might say.
2. The number one fan cheers his/her team on to the very end. No matter if the team is horribly losing and has no chance of winning.
Marriage application: If your spouse makes a career decision that doesn’t quite turn out the way you both hoped for, do your best to support your spouse through the failures/low points. He’ll probably need your support the most in those times.
3. The number one fan is loyal and believes so deeply in their team. They will never talk ill or give up on their team. There is so much power in words of encouragement.
Marriage application: Our words hold so much power. My husband has told me that he can receive compliments all day long from others, but my words and opinions of him have the most weight. It’s very easy to point out flaws and things that annoy us, but I encourage you to pick a few things each day that you appreciate about your spouse and tell them. Sneak a note in his lunch. Send her a text during the day. You may be surprised what it does for your spouse’s heart.
It may seem like such a little thing, but your encouragement and support will help fuel your spouse to confidently continue on the path laid out before him. Also, let him know how he can be your number #1 fan.
What are some ways that you support and encourage your spouse? Please post them in the comments!
(Author’s note: I write these words with the assumption that you are not in an abusive type of relationship. If you are in a marriage that is abusive in nature, abuse is not OK, and praise and support is not warranted.)
