Milspouse vs. Mrs. Claus: Who Will Win?
The holidays can be an exciting time—the lights, the joy, the hope that permeates the atmosphere. The overall holiday experience can get even more revved up with the much-anticipated sports match-ups.
As special holiday treat, we bring you coverage of the Tough Enough Showdown of the Year: The Military Spouse vs. Mrs. Claus! The gloves are coming off to determine who does it better between these two empowered individuals.
Looks like the match up of the year is about to start. Let’s tune in!
Ladies and gentlemen, LET’S GET READY TO RUUMMBBBBLLLE!
Ding ding!
Okay, folks, Round 1 is now underway. The two contestants are making their way out of their respective corners and slap gloves in the middle of the ring. The intensity in both of their eyes is searing! For Round 1, they are facing off with flying-solo tenacity.
Mrs. Claus throws the first punch. She has to fly solo when Santa himself is TDY on Christmas night… But wait! The Military Spouse knows that Mrs. Claus only had to deal with Santa’s absence for about 24 hours one time per year!
Ooohh, there’s a powerful punch from the military spouse, backed by the possibility of the service member being gone anywhere from 14 to 365 days per year. No contest… The Military Spouse wins this round.
Ding ding!
The contestants are regrouping for Round 2: location diversity. Fists are flying, but it looks like The Military Spouse already has the upper hand in this round, too. Mrs. Claus is simply dominated since she’s been stationed at the same location up at the North Pole for the last thousand years, but the military spouse has the ability to conquer new duty station territory on an average of 2 or 3 years. What a blow from The Military Spouse to Mrs. Claus. Another point for The Military Spouse.
Ding ding!
All right folks, we are nearing the middle of the match. Score is The Military Spouse: 2, Mrs. Claus, zip. This round is all about aging gracefully. The Military Spouse is making a valiant effort, but her tired expression and intermittently frizzy hair leaves her trailing behind. I’ve heard that military spouse years are much like dog years, that one year can be equivalent to seven years or more of experience and occasional weariness. Mrs. Claus, however, is a whopping 1,782 years old and still has the rosy appearance of a new grandmother with perfectly coiffed hair and lovely veneered teeth. Oh, there’s a whale of a punch from Mrs. Claus—Round 3 goes to the lady in red.
Ding ding!
Score update: Mrs. Claus is attempting to make a comeback, with a point on the board to The Military Spouse’s 2. Round 4 brings the match-up to no-plan-plan pivot-ability. Mrs. Claus is married to the top dog, since we all know Santa is in command of all the elves and the entire fleet of reindeer. He calls the shots, so not a lot of pivoting needed. The Military Spouse grits her teeth and throws a right hook for the last-minute-no-plan-plan change that threw the vacation schedule off and follows that up with a haymaker to Mrs. Claus’s gut for that latest deployment extension.
Ouch, that’s gotta hurt!
Mrs. Claus drops her gloves and heads back to her corner to reset. Hands down, Round 4 goes to The Military Spouse.
Ding ding!
Looks like both of our contestants are a bit winded, but The Military Spouse is still going strong in this Tough Enough Match-Up.
The next round is all about that patriotism. Now, it might be a bit of a generalization, but based on the typical colors that our contenders sport, I have to say my money is on The Military Spouse. Mrs. Claus rocks that red and white, with the occasional Christmas green… but here comes The Military Spouse, working that red, white, and blue! Oh wait, she’s pulling out her secret weapon—oooohh, upper cut with that motivation from Army green, right to the chin of Mrs. Claus!
DOWN SHE GOES! Mrs. Claus is flat out, and that’s it, folks! The Military Spouse is your Holiday Tough Enough Match Up Champion!
Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding!
Congratulations to The Military Spouse, racking up yet another empowered victory. Tune in for our next event, Battle of the Branches, as we ring in the new year!
