Planning for the ‘No-Plan Plans’

I firmly believe that military spouses are some of the most empowered, flexible, resourceful folks on the planet. Don’t believe me? I think 2020 proved it! We rolled with the punches, changing, dipping, ducking, and adapting, even if we might have put on a few pounds or developed a hypothetical eye twitch.

Seriously—we were planning around no-plan plans before it was cool. (Just kidding—the changing plans last year were not cool. Like, at all.) 

But here we are. In a new year. And while hopefully the world starts to settle down a bit and adjust to a new normal, we have learned some powerful lessons from last year and are now faced with how to plan for a new year. 

There’s been a buzz on social media of some folks with the attitude of “after last year, what’s the use? Why plan? Why prepare?” 

My answer? Because we can… At least to a point. It’s true that my Type-A, slightly control-freak self learned a ton about flexibility last year (and this lesson continues), but for me, there’s something about having a general handle on life—ish—that brings me hope, comfort, and joy. 

So here are five things about how to plan when it’s hard to plan—AKA, planning for the no-plan plans.

#SayThatFiveTimesFast

1. Plan for what you can.

As I was working on my bullet journal for 2021 a few weeks ago, I realized that one reason why last year was so overwhelming was because I hadn’t set myself up for “success” in early 2020. Granted, none of us could have predicted the difficultly last year would bring, but since hindsight is literally 2020, I transitioned into a lot of new roles without the ability to predict some of the “sure things” that were to come. 

You might be wondering what “sure things” I am referring to, because last year seemed anything but. I’m talking about small things that happened on a recurring basis, but the surprise of them showing up would give me a momentary burst of mini-panic or surprise, which probably transpired into a shot of cortisol into my system (AKA, the stress hormone). 

Here’s an example: Trash day.

Not really a big deal, but since we live in the city, if we miss a week, it’s amazing how difficult things become (I know, I know, first world problems). But this year, I know we need to roll the trash out every Tuesday night for 0530 pick up on Wednesday. Because that seemingly insignificant task is written down for the entire 2021 year, it is one less thing I have to think about week after week. Same goes for other recurring things, like paying certain bills, recurring meetings (yes, even if they are online), grocery shopping, email sending, etc. If you don’t have a tangible planner, you can set up recurring reminders on your digital calendar or use an email app like Boomerang, because it frees up brain space and keeps things that have potential to cause stress under control. 

2. Embrace the battle rhythm and map it out.

We are hopeful that this year is a year of more normalcy. But even if things stay bonkers for awhile, like the resilient military spouses we are, we know how to deal with this right-now battle rhythm. Second tip is just that: Embrace the battle rhythm and map it out. 

This ties closely to the first point. By planning for things that need to happen, we make them more of a priority, so we are less discouraged if/when we miss a deadline. From a leadership perspective, this means creating a rough sketch of when we will be meeting as a Command Team (online) with AWN. I’ve already sent those dates to the team, so if nothing else, they can have a general ballpark idea of when we are planning to have a pow-wow. This takes some of the “right now” pressure off of me as a leader.

The same can be said for goals or plans you want to accomplish. If you write it down and draw a map (tangibly or digitality) it gives us the foundation to accomplish those things because we have the adequate time to think about how to execute it. Oh, and here’s another tip: If you have Navy Federal or USAA, you can check out the 2021 pay dates since they usually fall a bit earlier than 1 and 15… so you can plan even more appropriately for the times we get paid on the 12th and 31st #MakeItStretch. 

3. Use White-Out.

Military spouses have always been told to “write in pencil.” While it’s kind of a joke, it’s also true. However, I am a pen snob, so writing in pencil in my planner is not nearly as much fun as busting out all the inky pens and markers. So I engage my secret weapon: White-Out. That’s right. If (okay, when) the no-plan-plans changes, it’s nothing a little old-school White-Out won’t fix. 

It might sound silly, but using White-Out used bum me out—like it was a momentous occasion that didn’t go as planned. But I realized: My hardcopy planner is meant to be used, and it’s going to look like its been through the wringer by the time I get to December anyways. Instead of getting bent out of shape when plans change (or, even more likely, I have a spelling error or scribbly handwriting I need to fix), I just grab the magic formula White-Out and get to work.  

4. Engage in “oh well” statements.

I remember as a new military spouse that when plans changed, I almost took it personally—like the military was on a mission to dash my hopes and dreams of romantic one-on-one time with my new infantryman husband. Now, 10 years after saying I do, I laugh at that perspective. Of course that wasn’t the purpose in the changed plans, but our reality is that we live in a world where mission comes first. And when plans get changed due to military stuff, COVID, kids, or shoot, just life in general, I’ve learned two incredibly empowering words that have changed my perspective forever: 

“Oh well.” 

I used to get so upset about the changing plans in my life but maybe, just maybe… I’m growing up. That doesn’t mean I still don’t get frustrated or disappointed (trust me, I do), but I think I’ve matured—perhaps that is resilience in action, being able to bounce back after trial, difficulty, or disappointment. 

Now, as I shift things around on my calendar (again), I find myself heaving a big sigh, saying “oh well” and (for the most part) moving on with my day. I might find a way to channel my frustration (an “angry” run, a drive around town with my daughter, or a frozen-yogurt run to distract from the moments of solo parenting) in an effort engage tip #5… 

5. Fold in joy, beauty, and laughter. 

Yeah, yeah. I know. This could be a tall order when planning for no-plan plans. But one of the things I have been most excited about for the change of the calendar was to engage my new, beautiful, clean, shiny (now fully prepped) planner. This year I went all out with stickers and colored markers (no, I didn’t do the epic calligraphy—shout out to Lauren’s Letters in Columbus, GA for that!) I wrote down major holidays, military dates I need to remember, birthdays, anniversaries, reminders, recurring to-dos, and the like. I put inspiring quotes and scripture, pretty stickers, and things to bring me joy throughout the year. 

That might be too crowded and overwhelming for some of you, but if that’s the case, turning to a fresh clean week will hopefully bring you joy as you go as well. 

 

So there you have it: My top five tips for planning for the no-plan plans. It’s not foolproof of course, but I hope you found some empowering tidbits.