Recon Rendezvous: Milspouse Marriage Advice
Welcome to AWN’s Monthly Recon Rendezvous. We’re so glad you are here! As the name implies, Recon Rendezvous is a place of community and connection. It is an opportunity to explore and learn about our fellow military supporters’ lives, victories, trials, and experiences.
Each month, we “rendezvous” here to provide information, resources, and encouragement. Thanks for contributing to your interactive empowerment for military spouses around the globe!
Take a quick lap around any bookstore and you will undoubtedly run into the Relationship Section. Thousands of books have been written on the topic of all things marriage…probably because it’s one of the most simultaneously challenging and rewarding life experiences to which we’re called. When we add in the “military” factor to marriage, that presents an entirely different chapter of information!
I’ve read my fair share of marriage books and could share dozens of thoughts on what works for my Beloved Infantryman and me in our marriage, but that’s just a single perspective. What better way to find some encouragement for making military marriage work than asking all of you? That’s what we did.
Welcome to the first part of a four-part miniseries of Milspouse Marriage Advice. Take it as you will—some is serious, other tips lighthearted, and some thought might give you that military marriage lightbulb you’ve been waiting for.
I’m excited to see what our readers had to say about military marriage. Let’s dig in:
“Communication is the key and patience is a virtue. Sometimes it’s okay to let the little things go. Remember that reconnecting takes time. I’ve been happily married 25 years and through many deployments. Learn to keep yourself busy while your partner is gone and savor the moments you have with them. It’s about quality time.” — Tina E.
“Don’t be afraid to seek counseling! Sometimes it takes a little help from outside your marriage to work through the military life stress that comes your way. And that’s okay!” — Katie F.
“Trust and believe in yourself, your partner, and your marriage. Always, always put those things first and do nothing to hurt either. The military can be a vicious mistress if you let it. Trust and believe.” — Lyn W.
“Wing it and enjoy life.” — Krystle G.L.
“Focus on the positive. Military or civilian, there’s always going to be something to bring you down, but if you focus on your time together rather than the fact that your partner had to work late again or they have to spend an extra three days in the field, it will make the experience so much more enjoyable. Stay-at-home parents, keep your partners in the loop on the goings-on with your kids. Keep an ongoing conversation. When you stop speaking, you stop connecting and begin to drift apart. Make each other a priority as much as you can. And the most important advice I can give is to never stop having fun. Your partner is your best friend, after all. Go on date nights, continuously try to impress one another, and remember how to laugh.” — Katy P.
“Try to keep all communication positive. They can’t fix it from their location. Ask for help locally or even on social media. Keep your marriage fresh and honest. Enjoy the one you married in person or in letters.” — Colena J.R.S.
“Never stop courting each other. Take care of yourself. Remember every day that marriage is a choice two people make.” —Tammy C.H.
“No matter what, step back and put yourself in the spouse’s place and always love him or her through it.” — Rachel Q.
“Always focus on your marriage. Take time for the two of you. Make the best out of every situation/location.” — Sarah S.C.
“We talk—text, phone, email, whatever it takes! Communication is probably our weakest area, so when something pops up, we talk it out. Early in our marriage we attended a marriage seminar offered through the military. It was worth the time investment. We’re even considering going again because it was so good to get on the same page. The only other thing I always keep in mind: my husband’s grandparents have been married for many, many years, and when we got married they told us that marriage is not 50/50—each person must give 100 percent.” — Jolene M.
So readers… what do you think? Did anything stick out to you today? What would you add to our list? We always love to hear from you, so leave a comment below. Also, if the first installment of milspouse marriage advice encouraged you, go here for part two.
