The Best Medicine
I thought March was supposed to go out like a lamb.
Baaa.
No lambs here; we’re all still dealing with those March lions running around crazy trying to eat everyone.
That’s how this month has been. I’m stuck right now deciding between telling you a few things…
Like how I got arrested last week. Yeah, I—the person voted “least likely to break the law” in high school—got arrested. It was crazy how it happened. I mean, my next-door neighbor is a police officer and even he didn’t have my back despite it being his fence I was crawling over…
Or, have you heard of that weight-reducing cauliflower milk called “Caulk?”
And last, but not least, I would love your thoughts on the New York City Police Department’s announcement of a “Feline Unit” to supplement their Canine Unit.
Isn’t life crazy?
This might be the perfect moment to say goodbye to March and hello to, “APRIL FOOLS’!”
Did I elicit even the slightest smile?
Truly, today is all about humor and laughter and pranks. But, are you a prankster or do you find them ill-advised and out of line? I’m curious where you fall on the spectrum. Let’s take a completely made up quiz in which I’ll be rating your humor level on a completely arbitrary scale that I’m making up as I go.
Q: How do you feel about bears? Beets? ____________(fill in the blank)
A: Can you finish that line? If you answered, “Battlestar Galactica,” then you get one point and rate high on the humor scale. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you have not watched the sitcom, The Office and are probably not familiar with Dwight Shrute. I shun you.
Q: What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto. Did you laugh? You are clearly an aficionado of dad jokes and find humor in ridiculous puns, one-liners, and groaners. Well done; 1 point.
Q: Do you spend any time on YouTube or other websites watching fail videos? Like when the 20-somethings think it would be hilarious to rig their own catapult over the brick wall? And then they video it.
A: If you know how that video ends and humorously groaned while picturing it, you get 1 point. Clearly a fan of pratfall, and if I had to guess, there is probably a 50% chance that you once made some of those videos yourself. Feel free to shoot me a copy. I promise not to post it. (Yes, I will.)
Q: Have you ever written or said something similar to, “You might be a milspouse if…”
A: If you could finish that sentence, you get 1 point. My go-to answer is, “…you asked a complete stranger to be the emergency contact for your children on a form.” Yep. You might be a milspouse. I can appreciate that self-inflicted type of comedic lampooning!
Q: Have you ever responded with any version of the words, “Hi, Hungry; I’m Mom,” when your child told you they were hungry?
A: You are clearly a connoisseur of mom jokes which can be as equally punny as dad jokes, but way more sophisticated. Who says? Me. I’m the mom. One point if you agree.
Q: Is this a real headline? “Commander of ForceyMcSpaceFace Deeply Regrets Crowdsourcing Branch Name”
A: If you giggled like I did at the name ForceyMcSpaceFace, you get one point just because. If you don’t think it’s a real headline you have either 1.) Not been in the military very long or 2.) have never read the epic Duffleblog. If you’ve read the Duffleblog, you get 1 point. If you recognized the headline, 5 points for being a true lover of sarcasm.
Q: Did you believe I had been arrested, that there was truly a cauliflower milk called “Caulk,” or that the New York Police Department had created a “Feline Unit?”
A: If you answered yes to any of the above, you get 1 point just because you are gullible like me. I fall for all the stories. All. Of. Them. Also, just so you know… those are actual pranks by the company Fresh Direct and The New York City Police Department just one year ago on April 1.
Our quiz is now over.
If you ranked even 1 point, you rate on the humor scale. Well done for being able to find your funny bone and for remembering the old adage, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Now, enjoy your April Fools’ Day and beware the pranksters!
