Finding a Battle Buddy: Part 1

One absolute necessity for making it through this roller coaster ride we call military life is meeting a battle buddy. These are the friends who, no matter what else is happening, will drop whatever they’re doing to help you out. These are the friends that you can call (and who can call you) at any time of the day or night just to talk to you or keep you from banging your head against the wall (much).

I decided what better way to discuss the importance of finding a battle buddy than by actually discussing it?

So I enlisted the help of my primary battle buddy, Jennifer Aloisi, and we found the meaning of life.

Not really, but we did learn a lot about ourselves and our relationship, and it allowed us to fill the love tanks and keep soldiering on, side by side.

Me: I was (somewhat) peacefully enjoying my time in Korea, turning myself into the Answer Lady on the USAG-Yongsan Facebook page when I met you. Do you remember how we met? I mean, I know it was life-changing, and all, but…

Jennifer: I do! How could I not? It was near the Mexican restaurant in the basement of the Dragon Hill Lodge. We were there for a meeting with Dan the Facebook guy about how the installation PAO team could better disseminate info on post. I have to admit that I was intimidated by you at first. You were so smart and had such awesome ideas. Yet you managed to be snarky and respectful at the same time which made me like you instantly. What were your first impressions of me?

Me: I’m always amazed when I hear that people are intimidated by me. It just goes to show you how different people can be from their online personas. My first impression of you was, “Wow, this chick knows her stuff.” It was revelatory to meet you in person after just seeing you as an online community member with opinions that pretty much tended to agree with mine (sometimes word for word). After meeting you that day, I was pretty sure I’d made a friend for life. We should probably find Facebook Dan and thank him. I know it’s been a rough year. How does having a battle buddy change your impression or experience of military life?

Jennifer: I think having a battle buddy is essential to military life. You have to find somebody that you connect with on more than just a “hey, how ya doin’?” level. Finding that one person or several people that can commiserate with you when you’re having a tough day and cheer with you when you’re having a great one is so necessary. What say you? How have battle buddies helped you both being in the military and as a military spouse?

Me: Battle buddies have been my saving grace, both as a soldier and as a military spouse. You know those “I hate the Army” days? We all have them. Having a battle buddy that you can talk to without censoring your language or ideas is critical. It’s important to have someone that speaks the same language that you do (the military definitely has its own) and who you know has marched a mile in your boots because they’re doing it all with you. And for people like us who are naturally snarky, it’s important to find someone who understands how you use humor and isn’t offended by it. What about on-post activities (both organized and not-so-organized)? Battle buddies a help there, or no?

Jennifer: I totally get what you mean. Great minds and all that, right? As far as organized activities, battle buddies can be a big help as a “foot in the door,” or “I know a great group and/or activity.” It can also be a great place to meet prospective battle buddies. I met my two battle buddies in Hawaii through our FRG and our other great friends, Debbi and Patti, through the PTO at the middle school in Seoul.

How have you met your battle buddies? If you haven’t, what ideas can you come up with about how to go about it?

Coming up in Part 2:

Jennifer asks: How do you go about making battle buddies or in other words, how do you “know” that this person is awesome sauce and worthy of being your battle buddy?