The Winter of our Discontent
I know. I know. It’s March. The last month of winter. Will it ever end?
However, it’s one of my favorite months (anniversary month!), and since I’ve been hostage in the south where the temps range from 50-70 degrees, I can’t complain. Rainy days are plenty and maybe I miss the sun some weeks, but when the sun does come out… it’s like a summer day. No shoveling snow. No bundling up to go outside.
But this blog isn’t about the weather, it’s about the Winter of Discontent (…of life).
Otherwise known as a Midlife Crisis.
We all know the stereotype, right? Guy goes out and buys an expensive car or becomes a cheating dirtbag. I’m not sure why it’s the man who gets the bad rap in the midlife crisis scenario, because the feelings of discontent are a real even for women. Getting to that point in life when we start questioning what we’ve done, if we’ve done enough…what will our mark on the world be?
Maybe we’re just bored all of a sudden because we’ve spent the last twenty years taking care of children. Or, for a woman who has spent years in a career, striving to achieve greatness, a midlife crisis could reflect a burden of greatness. As you know, there’s always something greater—a better job, higher prestige, more money.
If you’re old (grays are sprouting and people in the south have started calling you ma’am), this blog is for you.
Maybe a new car isn’t in your future (or a one night stand), because real life isn’t always about the worst-case scenarios. But how do we combat the feeling of discontent and wipe out those winter blues?
1. Simplify
When the instinct is to feel complete and make something of yourself by doing more, take time to step back and do less. Create a plan. Pick one new thing to learn or do. If you are a super-volunteer, step down. If you spend your life at the service of your children, tell them no.
Being able to focus on ourselves is part of this transition (to death). That’s a joke, yet also true. Greatness and achievement come in many forms. Take a minute to simplify your life before pressing on and finding the purpose that was lost through your thirties and forties.
2. Find Your Tribe
Women need women. Men need Men.
Sometimes, having that chance to separate from the obligations of our real life makes it easier to appreciate what we have at home. Surrounding ourselves with girlfriends for a morning out, a night out, a session at the gym, or even a prayer group helps us go back with a fresh outlook and with renewed energy. Talk about what’s bothering you. They’ve probably been there!
Every time I go to a new duty station, I promise myself I’m going to keep to myself. And when I can’t make it happen, I end up glad to have a core group of women who get it and who can make me laugh when the going gets rough. Men are different than women. They might be our soulmate, but they still see the world differently than we do. And that could be a personality thing more than a male or female thing.
This past week, I had an appointment for my knee. I mentioned it to my husband and to my girlfriends. Guess who reminded me about it, asked me about it, and otherwise, maintained an interest in that one moment? *handraise* The women. I wasn’t mad. The man has his full plate of responsibilities too. And he does stuff all the time, mentions it in passing, and I couldn’t remember it if my life depended on it.
3. Exercise
Yes, I’m going to say it. Lose weight (if it’s needed) and get moving. For me, part of growing older has been feeling old. I know it’s cliche, but the knees, the shoulders, range of motion. Ugh! And honestly, I can’t imagine doing any more of my 40’s if I hadn’t started them by losing some weight first. It’s a revival. It’s taking your life back and combating those end-of-life blues.
So, tell me what you would do or did do to get through these tough, life-changing transitions. Give me some advice!
What are your thoughts on getting through life? Are you 25 and feeling like you’re 35? How has the military life affected your perspective on the usual transitions in life?
