Find Your Tribe, Love Them Hard

I never considered myself an athlete. I swam competitively growing up, but I was rarely on top of any podium. I couldn’t kick a ball if my life depended on it. And I definitely couldn’t run. Not a single mile. Ever. But loneliness can make you do some crazy things. Like being freshly postpartum with your third kid in the middle of a deployment and signing up for some weird mommy boot camp exercise class because you want to find your tribe. 

I’d never been so nervous in my life. All these god-like people with perky booties and ponytails doing burpees and sprints and still looking like a Venus razor commercial. Meanwhile, I’m trying to do one push-up and I ascend from my yoga mat looking like a rejected extra from the Addams Family.

I finished practically in tears, with two-thirds of my children in actual tears. I planned to slink my way back to the car in shame.

Nope. Didn’t happen. A girl ran up to me and told me that at her first class, she fake-nursed through half of it because she was so overwhelmed.

Another shared her snacks with my melting-down toddler and bribed them (and me) to stay at the playground where I sat in stunned silence as these perfect, amazing human beings talked about life.

Their lives sounded just like mine.

Their kids wouldn’t potty train and ate too many Pop-Tarts. Their husbands were gone or leaving or getting back and their fears and vents were the same ones I carried with me constantly. They also felt like they were falling short while lifting each other up.

And I. Was. Hooked.

I’ve been lucky enough to be stationed near a Stroller Strong Moms affiliate at three different installations. I’ve been through two deployments with them by my side. One pregnancy and two postpartum phases. A miscarriage. They’ve seen my kids grow into the crazy crew they are today, and I’ve watched theirs bloom.

I’ve grown, too. They saw me grow from a young, overwhelmed mom who couldn’t jog around the park to a still overwhelmed older mom who has literally run up mountains.

Physical and emotional ones.

They encouraged me to do my first 5K, then a relay across the entire state of Georgia, then a half marathon.

Then a RAGNAR trail.

This is a strong B.A. band of spouses, the majority of them military.

They know me.

They see me.

They are me.

They’ve watched my kids. They’ve pumped my stroller tires. They’ve shown up at my door when I’ve been at my lowest.

Life is tough. This life as a military spouse is even harder, but it’s amazing what we can accomplish when we build each other up. I found my tribe at Stroller Strong Moms.

I don’t know what your tribe is. But I hope you have one. And if you don’t, I beg you to go and find one.

Because they’re out there. They’re there to make you better and stronger.

And when you find your tribe, I hope you love them hard.

Because us milspouses are strong, brave, and amazing.

But we’re always better together.