Mature Love
It’s February, the month Valentine’s Day is celebrated. Love is in the air.
I love reading sweet romance books or watching romantic movies where the love starts to blossom. It always reminds me of the time when I first met my husband, during that honeymoon phase. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach and excitement when he calls.
If I can be honest with you, sometimes I miss the honeymoon phase and compare the feelings that I had 18 years ago to now. Sometimes I feel like my hubby might not find me attractive or love me as much as he did when we first met.
But those doubts are wrong.
Our love matured. It changed over time. It developed into a deeper intimacy, a stronger trust, and an unconditional love.
Heck, my husband saw me giving birth to three children—through 18 hours of back labor and a C-section—and he still loves me.
He saw me puking blood and being super weak after my surgery last month. Instead of sleeping in our bed, he chose to sleep on the couch next to me, so he could hear me if I needed anything. Plus, when I called him the next day at work, because I really did not feel well (after surgery) and was nauseated and vomiting, he came during his lunch break to make sure I had what I needed, which was ginger ale and pretzels.
That is mature, unconditional love.
That he loves you no matter if your chest sags more and more every day or if your hair has gray in it.
I need to remind myself, especially during Valentine’s Day and this month, that love is more than a special dinner or a romantic night out.
Don’t get me wrong. My husband and I try to plan a date night (date day) at least once a month. It’s important for couples to carve out time one-on-one. I know that as military spouses it’s hard to find a good babysitter or someone you can trust to watch your children so you can have some time alone. I totally understand. Sometimes, we just send the kids into their room with a movie, while we’re watching another movie in the living room together. Or when my husband has an off day due to a long weekend and the kids are still in school, we try to go for a hike or walk together.
Furthermore, I love the time when my husband gets off work and calls me. We usually talk for 10 minutes and catch up on the day. It helps me to understand why my husband is so tired or why he needs to work at home after hours. It helps us stay connected.
I think those little things make our relationship work, especially if I don’t compare our relationship to others and allow doubt to come into my mind about our relationship.
Remember, every relationship is different. If it’s what works for you and your partner, then that makes it special.
